Anger Management in Marriage - NikahExplorer
Just like the relationship of marriage can be a strong one, it can also be a very delicate one at times. Most often in marriages, situations arise that test the Muslim husband and wife’s patience, the level of compromise and level of tolerance. That is where proper management of anger is important, lest you may say or do something that you can regret forever. Allah has made it easy for us to follow the specific commandments that lead to a fulfilling marriage with proper tolerance and of course the life of the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) is a perfect example.
In Islam anger is compared to the likeness of the shaytaan who would like nothing better than your marriage to fall into pieces. To defeat the shaytaan it is important that we have a great level of control over our feelings if and when we get into an argument with our spouses. Obviously, over the course of your marriage, your ship will go through some bumps and it is rare for it to sail smoothly. When such bumps enter your marriage, if you differ on an opinion with your husband’s way of spending finances or your husband doesn’t agree with your way of raising the children, there will definitely be sparks in your marriage in the form of arguments. These arguments can take the form of lengthy fights with previous arguments also being referred to. This only aggravates matters and no proper solution is reached. STOP. Stop and think. Keep a calm head. Just stop talking.
When a husband and wife are angry with each other, it is the perfect setting for the shaytaan to hit its arrow in the right spot and destroy what’s left. We must not let that happen. We must follow the example of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and control our anger. It is reported that when the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was angry with anyone of his wives, he would stay quiet. This would help him calm down and after a while, all would be forgotten. According to a tradition of his, the best ways to control anger are: say Ta'awwuz , to do ablution or drink water or to lie down on the floor. THIS is what the Prophet (PBUH) followed and we should also do the same. We should make sure that do not utter any mean or nasty words from our mouths because words are things that can scar relationships like nothing else can. When your anger will pass (which it will!) you will then find yourself regretting the very words you said. It is understandable that you cannot be kind while you are seething with anger, so don’t be, rather stay quiet and let your anger cool down.
Never be angry with your spouse and fall asleep for the night. Allah has said in the Holy Quran: {And among His Signs is that He created for you spouses from amongst yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts; truly in that are Signs for those who reflect.} (30:21).
Allah has used the words tranquility and peace. Calmness and serenity. Doesn’t this give you an immense sense of pleasure? Do you really want to ruin this tranquility by having harsh arguments and through a show of anger in your marital relationship? These words describe the completeness that is needed from marriage, make sure you embrace them.