Balance in Muslim Marriage - NikahExplorer
Our life is one balancing act. We try to balance our studies with our responsibilities at home, we try to balance our jobs with our social life and we try to balance our friends and our families. One such balancing act also happens to occur in marriages which is very important. Allah has asked us to show moderation and balance when we go about our marital duties with our spouses. This means that we must be completely aware that our marriage is never going to be all good or all bad. We must know it and we must accept it. There will be positives and negatives in our marriage and we will need to make sure we balance them out
How we get to do them is a very important question. Allah has asked us to look for the good in our spouses and not just focus on the bad. That is one major way how marriages can succeed by the balancing act. When two people live together there are obviously personality clashes and there will be good days and bad days. Balancing your marriage in Islam is making sure you remember the good days more than the bad days.
Allah has said about the spouse, particularly the wife in Islam ".… And consort with them in kindness, for if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good." (An-Nisa'4:19). This means that while you may dislike some habits of your wife, it is a very big likelihood that you will also like many of her habits. So focus on the habits that you like, that make you happy. The same can also be said for the husband. If he comes back late from work, don’t hold that negative thing about him forever. Rather look to the positives, being a good father to your children, fulfilling the responsibilities of the household chores etc.
For every negative that you see in your spouse, think of not one but five positives that you see in them too. That will make a happy marriage. Is your partner supportive to you but he’s also miserly? Is your wife always nagging but also brings up the kids perfectly? What attribute would you focus on? The positive ones ofcourse. And make sure there are many that outweigh one negative. To do this for the rest of your life will ensure your marriage is a happy satisfied one because it is a balanced one.