Blame Games in Muslim Marriages - NikahExplorer

Every marriage sees its shares of ups and downs. Many marriage fail because of the continuous blames that one spouse puts on the other on very trivial matters. The meek out of the two spouses is the one who has to take in all the blames in order to save the marriage. This could be both genders but more often than not it is the woman who suffers by taking the blame of everything wrong that happens in marriage, even that which she has no hand in.

Allah has strictly forbidden us from having assumptions about things and thereafter blaming others. Allah has said in the Quran

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. (49:12)”

This ayat is very important for Muslim couples who are living together in marriage. When we are in a relationship of marriage, instead of communicating with our spouse we take the much easier route of “assuming” things. When we assume it means we are not necessarily correct. And that is when things get messy. Assumptions lead to misunderstandings and misunderstandings lead to bad situations followed by blame games. The day a husband and wife stop having assumptions about each other, situations, their spouse’s doings, that day they will stop blaming each other for everything, and their marriage will be a peaceful one.

We as Muslims must realize that Allah has enjoined us to be together in peace and harmony and to be garments of each other. Continuously blaming each other will not bring about peace in marital life. It is important to clear your mind and think what has gone wrong. Pray to Allah and ask Him to show you the right path. Perhaps it was your own mistake that led to a disagreement. Perhaps YOU are the one who needs fixing. And perhaps you are the one who needs to play the “Let me fix myself up” game. Like everything in Islam it is important to embrace the guidance that Allah has given us so we should work on erasing bad feelings about our spouses by praying to Allah with the companionship of your spouse.