Boundaries for In-Laws in marriage - NikahExplorer
In Islam the families of the Muslim spouses are considered very important and due respect is supposed to be given to them. After all they are the family of the person you are spending the rest of your life with. You may have no relation with them but your respect is of due importance. That is why it is a tricky situation for Muslims around the world to deal with their in-laws and try to create a boundary for them. Many times the wives in the relationship have much more trouble dealing with in-law boundaries than men. There are many ways to set boundaries with inlaws in a Muslim marriage, they are mentioned below:
Acknowledge that there are boundaries: The first step is for the Muslim husband and wife to acknowledge that there are boundaries between you and your in-laws. Once that is done you should realize that even though there are limits, the boundaries should not be rigid. Muslim men and women should ensure that they see the boundaries and respect them and keep a balance between interacting with in-laws. Do not be too involved in their lives and neither be too aloof. Acknowledge and balance is the key.
Have patience: Not only is compromise and patience required when dealing with your married life but also when dealing with the family of your spouse. Realize that just like your spouse, their family is different too and you will rarely see eye to eye with them. The fact that you are not required to spend the rest of your life with them is enough for you to have it matter that you disagree. But do not let that disagreement turn into fights. Learn to negotiate and reach a level of agreement that values the opinion of your spouse as well as your family. Have patience and forbearance.
Realize Uncertainties: Muslim spouses should realize that there will be uncertainties between them and their in-laws especially in the beginning of the relationship. Slowly those uncertainties will fade away but while they remain Muslim men and women must acknowledge their existence and not try to erase them immediately. Getting frustrated or angry early on in the relationship because things are not going your way will only aggravate the situation and make worse the already volatile relationship you have with your in-laws. A husband’s role is very important. He should keep a balance of the situation and not take sides. Handle the situation in a way that the insecurities of both parties are put to rest. And they are not done properly then give it time. Let time take its course and let relationships mould in their own way. A new role with new family members can be daunting, yes, but realize that this is a relationship made by Allah, the best Planner.
Doing the above would help a lot on creating boundaries between inlaws and spouses. Don’t take sides, give your spouse and family assurance, be respectful, try your best and leave the rest to Allah.