Consultation in Marriage - NikahExplorer
When Allah decided to bring a man and a woman together in marriage He explained to us in the Quran that they should live together in peace, harmony, love and compromise. Allah knew that these are 2 separate people who have different personalities and have come together from different upbringings. Allah hence expected us to not only live together with these different personalities but also make decisions about life together with our spouses.
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) too used to take advice from his wives on numerous issues, whether they would relate to him spreading Islam or would relate to small household matters. In the same way Allah expects us to consult our spouses before making decisions that affect both husband and wife. We should open all lines of communication and discuss with our spouses what we want and if it is the right thing for both of them. Even when the decision entails only one of the spouses, the spouse should consult the other. This strengthens the relationship and makes way for further communication to come up.
Consultation does not only mean taking advice from spouse. It means having a lengthy discussion of the pros and cons of the decision, telling your spouse that you love them and that you value their opinion a lot and telling them that they are in this together. For example a husband can consult his wife before thinking of changing his job and discuss with her the pros and cons of doing so. A wife can consult her husband before buying some furniture for the house or before redoing their room. Doing this the spouse will themselves feel open and welcome to further conversations and communication and that will lead to a healthy marriage. The end goal is to have a strong and healthy marriage and that is only possible if both the husband and wife work together in taking decisions through consulting each other. May Allah make all of us capable of leading strong and health Muslim marriages, Ameen.