Coping with Distance in Marriage - NikahExplorer
Though Muslim marriage is a union in which the husband and wife live together for their entire life and pledge to be there with each other physically and emotionally, sometimes in marriages times come when there arise distances in marriage. These distances can be of two sorts; one when the husband and wife are physically away from each other and two, when the husband and wife are emotionally away from each other. Though mush can be said about the second type of distance, here I will focus on the physical distances between husband and wife and what Islam says about coping with them.
Distance after marriage can be because of a lot of reasons and must be dealt with utmost patience or the chances for the marriage to fail become quite paramount. The most common distance these days is due to the husband travelling for work or having settled in another city/country for his job. When such distance comes between, it is the job of both the husband and the wife to not let it affect their relationship. Obviously, things will change and it is silly to expect they won’t but the couple should be prepared for bigger challenges as a result of living separately due to unavoidable circumstances.
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) spent as much time as possible with his wives and hence it is the responsibility of the husband to ensure that his wife joins him as soon as possible. If he cannot, there are other ways to keep the marriage alive even while being separated. The husband can courier over flowers to surprise his wife, the wife can call him at unexpected times when she knows he’ll be missing her, the husband can send a picture of the not-so-tasty food that he made himself and the wife can send little notes of “Open when…” with him so he remembers her all the time. In a day and age of technology, the husband and wife can be in close contact through calls, emails, WhatsApp chats and Skype video conferences too. Ofcourse both are unable to feel the sense of touch (technology has not gone that far yet) so when you feel you need to hug your husband or wife you can always pay them a surprise visit (if finances permit).
It all comes down to your intention to make your marriage prosper and the level of compromise you are ready to put in and the patience you display and ensuring that this relationship is important for you. Remember that every kind deed you do towards your husband or wife, no matter if the distance is a thousand miles. You will be rewarded by Allah a thousand times more as the bond of marriage is much loved by him. So work towards keeping the spark in your marriage alive by some great long-distance loving but at the same time try to make possible living together as soon as you can.