Despair and Desperation about Marriage - NikahExplorer
Marriage is no doubt a very important institution in the eyes of Allah and is extremely encouraged in the religion of Islam, the proof being Allah mentioning it a number of times in the Quran in the form of the relationship between a Muslim husband and a Muslim wife. So obviously the relationship of marriage demands a great attention from Muslims as well. From the time that a person enters puberty and is of age to get married, it is the responsibility of the guardian to find a good match for the Muslim girl or the Muslim boy. Many times this search is very successful very early but often it takes a while. And that is where the despair and desperation for marriage begins.
Allah has encouraged us to marry young because He has put in us desires which can be fulfilled only by living with a spouse in love and harmony. The reason Allah has asked us to marry right after puberty is to keep us away from sin because Allah understands that humans will go to the incorrect path to satisfy their needs if they don’t get married. The holy Prophet (PBUH) too said to us “Whoever can afford to get married should get married and whoever cannot afford to do so should fast because fasting reduces the human desires and keeps us away from sin. “
Muslim men and women are keen to follow the examples and advice of the Prophet (PBUH) and do try to find their life partner as soon as possible. However many times it is not easy to find a suitable match for yourself. Many Muslim men and women look for years for the person they think they are compatible to marry but with no avail. Despair and desperation sets in, especially in rural societies where it is considered taboo for a girl or boy not being married when they come off age. Though men get a lot of flak for not tying the knot young, single Muslim women are the ones who bear the brunt of society’s vices when they are again and again reminded of their flaws just because they are not married.
So here I am there to tell you; don’t despair. Don’t be desperate. Don’t think your life is over just because you haven’t found the right person. Sure, marriage completes half your deen but the institution itself is not in your hands, Allah has the power to grant you a spouse when the right time comes. So believe in that. Believe in your Creator who has promised that he made his creation “in pairs”.
You , Muslim men and women, do not need to despair and be desperate because Allah has told us that there IS someone out there for us, someone who will be our garment, someone who would love us unconditionally, someone who would nurture you, love you and stand up for you. So ask Allah for that person and leave the rest to Him. Despair never has nor ever will take you anywhere but praying to Allah will. “Ask Him and He will respond” has always been Allah’s promise. So ask him to grant you that person.