Don’t fall in love, grow in love in Marriage - NikahExplorer
More often than not, when a Muslim man marries a Muslim woman in the proper manner of Shariah, they don’t know each other very well except to the extent of looking at each other and making small talk in the presence of a mahram. So the concept of “love” does not creep into the relationship until after the man and woman are married. Until they are married, there are strong feelings of liking the man or woman but not more than that. However, once the couple DOES get married, they undoubtedly FALL in love. And such a beautiful feeling it is too, to be in love with a person you are looking forward to spend the rest of your life with. So you fall in love and you fall hard. And it takes no time for fantasies of the perfect marriage to enter your mind and soul like a dream bubble. Nothing can ruin that sense of thrill and euphoria of falling in love for you. Except, that something totally can.
Allah has prescribed Muslim marriage as two Muslims, man and woman, living together in peace and harmony. So ofcourse, Allah has not forbidden us to fall in love with our spouse. However we must take care of this extreme emotion and not let it control our minds and eventually our expectations. And having too many expectations out of a relationship is a recipe of hurt. They say that when you FALL, you get hurt, so why then should we FALL in love? What we must do is GROW in love.
And it makes complete sense, growing in love. Growing in love gives us a feeling making progress, which is a much stronger and clearer path than just falling in love. Growing in love brings about more strength in the relationship, is more long-term and is more rewarding on an emotional level whereas falling in love is for a short period of time and wrought with demands and expectations.
When Muslim couples grow in love they pray for each other, not only for the world but also for the Hereafter. It’s a long term investment towards the relationship and Allah likes the long term efforts taken. Couples pray together, stay together and grow together. They learn to live together, love together and compromise together.
Growing in love means that the emotion is never lost, even if there are numerous arguments and fights between the couple. As long as there was a time when they took comfort in each other and made each other happy, there is no reason that it cannot continue even after a major fight. If neglect and distraction creeps into the Muslim marriage, know that Allah can bring back that layer of love in it too if you allow yourself to grow in love. When a couple does this they know that even if today their love may not show on the surface, deep down their hearts have the capacity to be satisfies in each other’s company once again. And that’s when you will know that you did not fall in love, you GREW in love.