Emotions in Marriage - NikahExplorer
Barring the marriages that have domestic abuse (forbidden in Islam with very strict punishments), marriages generally do have a lot of emotions involved in them, both positive and negative. While it is healthy to have emotions in marriage, care must be taken by Muslim couples to show those emotions in accordance with the commandments set out by Islam. Indeed when an excess of negative emotions creep into marriage know that the shaitaan has infiltrated your sacred relationship and is trying to destroy it to its end.
From the day the man and woman get married, emotions take a toll on them; the wife has to go to the emotional turmoil of leaving her parents behind and the home she grew up in while the husband has his own set of emotions in welcoming a wife in his own personal space. Hence starts the roller coaster of emotions that the husband and wife feel at the change of their lives. However, these may be categorized into positive emotions, those of welcoming new changes and being apprehensive in what the new life has to offer.
The problem arises when years pass in marriage (though ofcourse this can happen even in the beginning of marriages) and the husband and wife feel alienated from each other. Whereas the wife shows excess emotions the husband doesn’t show any. This could lead to major disagreements where the husband may feel he has to put up with a clingy wife and the wife may feel she has to live with an unloved husband in marriage.
And therin lies the fault in negative emotions. When the husband and the wife live together, they should accept that they are two separate people who are brought together by Allah in the sacredness of marriage. There will be disagreements, there will be fights. Allah understands that and hence offers us a remedy which we can happily grab at; patience, compromise and sacrifice.
When Allah asks us to do that He expects us to put ourselves in the shoes of our spouses and then reflect on the situation. What did we say and HOW did we say it. Most of the times what we say is entirely true and may even be or right but HOW we say it makes all the difference. Were we mean, disrespectful and rude? If we were then we need to control our emotions. Once we analyze our own emotions, our own words that we speak and listen to them being said to ourselves, will we realize that true sacrifice and compromise is this. So learn to use your emotions in a way that the shaitaan does not benefit from them and destroy your marriage. Relax and chill out and increase mature communication in your marital relationshio. Don’t let emotions triumph over you and let shaitaan win.