First Year of marriage in Islam - NikahExplorer
Most Muslim couples enter marriage with high expectations, believing it to be a fairytale of romances as soon as they enter it. They believe their first year of marriage, atleast, to be what they call “the honeymoon period” and hence that is what they expect as soon as they enter into nikah. However, this is a dangerous expectation to have for the husband or the wife, because in reality, the exact opposite takes place. The first year of marriage is actually the hardest for the married couples because that is the year the most adjustment and compromise is needed.
When a woman marries a man in Islam, she moves into his house and embraces his family. Not only does she have to live with a completely different personality in her husband, but also in her in-laws. This brings a mixture of personalities into her life and she struggles to keep up with the demanding expectations of all from her. In such a situation, she may get frustrated, lose her cool, and have arguments with her husband. The husband, who himself is now feeling his privacy vanishing, shows little or no sympathy. This is the usual scenario between a husband and a wife as soon as they get married and this is what they need to learn to fight!
There are lots of ways couples can tackle the problems of the first year of marriage, the most important one is to have complete honesty and openness with each other as well as give each other their needed space. Remember that in the first few months of marriage, people are observing you the most and one wrong thing said or done can lead to a string of misunderstandings. So be careful with what you say to each other and to others in family presence. Instead of trying to figure out what your spouse likes and dislikes, ask them openly so it is not a cause for tension later on. Make sure that you have sorted out all the responsibilities of each other in the first week of marriage, who will do the groceries, what time will the husband return home, what time will dinner be etc.
Though islamically it is the duty of the husband to provide for his family and play the role of leadership, it is not tantamount to being a dictator. Make sure, if you are a husband, that your wife does not feel dictated by you and give her importance when it comes to making decisions and always ask for her opinion. Doing this in the first year of marriage will build a foundation of trust between you for years to come. Make sure your marriage is not based on Bollywood ideals for you are bound to get a rude shock once you enter into marriage. And above all learn to compromise and control your anger. The holy Prophet (PBUH) used to become silent whenever he was angry at any of his wives, so we must do the same for that diffuses tensions quickly. If we raise our voice towards our spouse in the beginning of the marriage, the time when we must show the greatest patience, the foundation of marriage will crumble before it is made. So take care. Be nice, Be kind. Be loving.