Happiness versus Difficulties in Marriage - NikahExplorer

This life is not perfect. Allah never meant for this life to be perfect and He has told us this multiple times in the Quran. While there will be happiness that comes our way in our lives, there will also be difficulties that we will have to encounter. In marriage, too, happiness and difficulties will come hand in hand. Allah has said in the Quran “With hardship comes ease.” Not before it. Not after it. But with it. This means that in all relationships and in all walks of life, happiness and sadness will come hand in hand.

In our society however, because of unrealistic expectations set by movies and overtly public displays of affection on social media, people have begun to think that marriage is only a bed of roses.Young boys and girls think that once they are married that is their ticket to freedom and they are free to enjoy the benefits that marriage brings once they are out of the jurisdiction of their parents. Mostly girls go through this set of expectations. However boys do too, where they do not realize the level of responsibility they will face once they get married.

Many young Muslim women and men, because of these unrealistic expectations , enter marriage to be disappointed. This leads to unhealthy marriages and finally their breakdown. That is why, we as Muslims should be prepared with the reality of marriage. Marriage is a union between two Muslims who come together, two Muslims who have a different upbringing, different personalities and different opinions. Therefore we must realize that there will be differences of opinions in our lives. There will be conflicts and life will not always be a bed of roses. That is infact the reason that Allah has asked us to show patience and compromise in marriage. Do you think, that if Allah had meant for marriages to be only “happy” He would have asked us to show mercy and patience to our spouses? Ofcourse not!

But He created us and therefore he knows. He knows that basing our marriage purely on happiness will only give us heartbreak when our expectations are not met. Therefore he asks us to base our marriage also on the tough times and how we fight them along with our spouse. Can we do that and pass the test and keep our marriage intact at the same time? If yes, then THAT is a successful marriage. THAT is us really acing the test. And that is how our lives will measure up in the end. It’s how we accept happy times from Allah and be grateful for them and it’s how we handle hard times (also by Allah) and show patience and perseverance with them. Happiness versus difficulties. It’s upto us who will be the winner in our marriages. We will decide.