How to balance a married life and its importance - NikahExplorer
How to Balance a Married Life?
Islam teaches us “balance” in everything. In order to live a meaningful life, we need to learn how we can keep a balance in our deen and duniya. We tend to balance our home responsibilities with our jobs and studies, in the same way we try to keep a balance between our families and friends. One of the most important balances we need to maintain is in our married lives.
Allah (swt) has asked us to show moderation and balance when we are fulfilling our marital responsibilities with our spouses. This shows that we must know and understand that marriage is not a bed of roses but it is about to enjoy the positives and deal with the negative aspects. Hence, one must learn to keep a balance in their affairs.
Marriage in Islam
Our Prophet (PBUH) instructed the guardians of women to marry their daughters to men who possess good Deen and Character. In a hadith it is said:
“If a man comes to you seeking marriage, and you are satisfied with his Deen and character, marry him- lest a fitnah and great destruction become rampant on earth” [Sahih ul-Jami no. 270].
Marriage is an incredible relationship and a divine sign of blessings from Allah. It is said in the Quran:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought” [30:21]
The whole purpose behind marriage is completion of deen and finds tranquillity with our partners. The relationship we have with our spouses must be in a way where no religious law or humanity law violates.
How Do We Achieve Balance?
By focusing on Positive aspects
Allah has given both husband and wife equal set of responsibilities which both needs to fulfil. The major way for achieving the act of balancing is being dutiful and focusing on the positives. When two people live together, there can be conflicts, clashes, bad and good days. It is important that you learn the art of ignoring and focus on the positive aspects of your spouse.
As Allah said for the spouses, especially wives:
“…..And consort with them in kindness, for if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good” [4:19].
So, if you dislike some of the habits of your wife, it is likely that you may also like her for some other aspects. The key focus must be on fulfilling your duties towards your spouse happily and look for good in every situation. The same thing can be said for husband. If he spends most of his time working, then rather than being negative about it, he should try to spend little and meaningful time when he is home and look for positives.
Making time for each other
There is no excuse to invest most of your time on your own work and not giving time to your partner. Even if it is half an hour or 15 minutes try to communicate and be friendly. Take care of them as your spouse is the only person that will stay with you forever, when no one else even your kids will be busy with their own lives.
Relationship with Spouse and Parents
Marriage means taking up a new responsibility in addition to what we already have i.e. your work, friends and family. Thus, balancing our lives and giving our spouses and family their due rights are important.
Salmân al-Fârisî said to Abû al-Dardâ’: “Your own self has a right over you, your Lord has a right over you, your guest has a right over you, and your family has a right over you. So give everyone his due.” When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) heard about what Salmân had said, he approved of it, saying: “Salmân has spoken the truth” [Al-Bukhari].
Along with your spouse, your responsibility towards your parents is the greatest and it is important that you give your time and fulfil your responsibilities by maintaining a good relationship. Continue to be dutiful towards them as this is the greatest factors that help in keeping a balance.
“The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the parents” [Al-Tirmidhi].
Be mindful of Allah (swt)
Practicing Deen and fulfilling your obligations like praying on time, following the teachings of our Prophet (PBUH) will help you in maintaining balance in your life. Being mindful of Allah in every aspect makes our life easy and we are able to get through the life challenges in our married lives.