Obstacles before Islamic Marriages - NikahExplorer
We live in this world which is temporary and just like this world, the lives that we lead are also temporary and imperfect. Hence we will encounter obstacles at every step of our lives, difficulties by which Allah will test us and problems which we will need to find solutions to through prayer and dhikr of Allah. One such moment in life comes when a young man or woman wants to get married and encounter a number of problem.
There are many obstacles that a man or woman wanting to get married in Islam will face. First and foremost is that of getting married itself. Islam completely and most strictly forbids adultery, that is a person cannot live with another except through getting married and carrying out the deed of nikah, a ceremony that has been approved by Allah for two people to get live together in love and peace. Neither a man, nor a woman can have relations with the opposite gender in Islam without getting married. However, when a believing Muslim man or woman seek to get married they are not only faced by practical obstacles but also societal pressures.
Allah has decreed in the Quran that a man is responsible for the welfare of the woman because he has made the one stronger than the other and because they support them from their means. This means that Allah has enjoined on man to carry the responsibilities of financially securing everything for his wife and his family. In this situation a man delays marriage till he has enough finances available at his disposable to support a wife. Family also pressurizes the young lad saying that he needs to make a life before getting married. It is sad that a scared relationship as marriage has become the last and most insignificant one on the list of things Allah has decreed in Islam.
Allah has asked a man and woman to marry young for a reason. It is because Allah has put certain urges in both that, if not fulfilled through marriage, will be fulfilled through sin and haraam. So Allah has encouraged marriage to refrain from leading a haraam life. Marriage is halal love, and it is beautiful. Parents should hence understand that marrying their children young will keep them away from harm that could lead them to hell, and help them out financially in getting married. The Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said: “Whoever strives to provide the means for the marriage of believing men and women to the point that God will join them in marriage, will receive a thousand companions with big, beautiful and lustrous eyes.” Such a beautiful gift from Allah. Not only parents but also friends can help in marrying and stabilizing a Muslim brother who seeks to get married so that he can prove that he can support his wife.
Other obstacles in getting married is meeting the girl in a halal way before getting married. Most Muslim families in society do not agree for the boy and girl to meet before marriage. However, Allah and the Prophet have asked them to see and agree to each other before marriage in a halal way. This means that as long as the girl is with her mahram she can be on the presence of the man seeking to marry her. However the obstacle is to be respectful, lowering of the gaze and talking sweetly in the mahram’s presence. Most men fail to do so and hence get failure.
The most important thing to prove before getting married is not that you have wealth, status and beauty but that you are a person of faith, that you are a man or woman of Islam. Be it a man or a woman, you should be able to show that you will lead the rest of your life with this person in accordance with Islam, love and respect each other, be garments for each other and keep each other happy amidst all the compromises you will make.