Oppression in Muslim Marriages - NikahExplorer
“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the bridal money you have given them. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and God brings a great deal of good through it.” (Quran 4:19)
The above verse of the Holy Quran tells us in completion how oppression against women, especially in marriages is looked down upon by Allah. He has used the word “forbidden” to describe his displeasure for treating women badly. When Allah says that we are not to inherit women against their will it means that we cannot get married to them against their wishes, and doing so would result in oppression.
Opression during marriage can be of many sorts. The most extreme cases in point are when the husband treats a wife harshly by beating her. But there can be many other forms of oppression against the wife too and each one is as worse as the other. These could be the husband coming home late, wasting time watching television while wife waits for him, not appreciating the wife, allowing his mother to be rude to her, not showing her love for the little things; all these are paramount to oppression against women and wives in Islam.
The Holy Prophet has very clearly said that if the wife is not happy in a marriage she has the right to dissolve the marriage rather than live with a man who gives her misery that is intolerable. During marriage the husband is also forbidden to take away the money that the wife brings with her into the marriage. “Live with them honorably” Allah says. That means the husband is asked by Allah subhanwatallh to bring respect, faith and loyalty in the blessed and sacred reunion. Immediately in the next line Allah has asked us to be patient with the wives even if they don’t like a thing about them. There will definitely be something in the wife that the husband will like. So learn to compromise and live in peace with each other and recognize how important each other is in your lives.
Opression in marriage is not only towards the wife, rather the husband can also be oppressed in a marriage when the wife does not give him enough respect, honour and fulfill her duty towards him. So it is actually a two way street.
However, when Allah talks about marriage He also says that dissolving a marriage is allowed in Islam but it should only be the last resort and should be done when it can be used as a savior of your life from oppression or any other incompatibility that plagues your relationship. Know that Allah has made divorce permissible for a reason. Allah has given oppressed women a way out of a situation, so they should use it. May Allah save us from oppression in marriages.