Positivity Vs Negativity towards spouse - NikahExplorer
We often hear things like a happy marriage is one in which the state of mind is happy. Most of the time this logic is correct. When we think positive thoughts it automatically leads us to be happy and satisfied and if those happy thoughts are about a relationship you have with someone then the relationship automatically becomes a happy one.
Allah has asked all Muslim couples to enjoin positivity in their relationship of marriage because He knows that when the state of mind is happy, then so is the marriage, the most loved of the relationships in the eyes of Allah. So where exactly are you in your state of mind? Are you talking to yourself frequently and are they happy talks about your spouse? Or are you complaining all the time to yourself about your spouse? Are you feeling a great sense of love for your spouse or are you feeling a sudden surge of anger? This is positivity versus negativity.
Obviously, in all relationships there are ups and downs. That is why Allah has decreed patience and compromise as one of the most important assets in a marriage. So we must accept that there will be times when we will be angry towards our spouse, when we will want to hit them with something or want to yell at them. Know that this is what is called a great balance between positivity and negativity in a marriage.
However, once the negative emotions towards your spouse exceed the positive ones, you should know that your marriage is surfing some danger. So then what must a good Muslim spouse do? They must go back and analyze their marriage, understand the importance of them being the “garment” of their spouse, learn to protect them and learn to entrust them with their secrets. If you’re having negative thoughts about your spouse quite regularly, you must train your mind to focus on the good things. Allah has said in the Quran that if you hate one thing about your wife, you will like another” so follow just that. Think positive things, events and situations about your spouse. When your state of mind is happy, you will obviously have a happy marriage and slowly and gradually all those negative feelings will fade away.