Staying in love in marriage - NikahExplorer

In Islam we all know that true and real love begins at marriage. Emotions in our heart which we name as love before a marriage contract are not really love, but are lust and we must stay away from them under all circumstances. We must remember that real love begins at marriage. Once a couple is married it is quite simple to fall in love. What is difficult is to stay in love and that is what Allah really tests when He asks us to enter this beautiful institution of marriage.

So a man and a woman enter the lovely relationship of marriage and everything seems new and lovely. You learn new things about your spouses and you fall in love with them, their habits, the way they talk, the way they carry themselves, everything seems to be a new experience and new experiences are enjoyable and thrilling. You have fun as you get to see different shades of your spouse and learn to accept them and you then finally fall in love with these different shades. You feel a sense of thrill in sharing your life with that person, your soul, your thoughts and your emotions. It feels nice to expose a bit of yourself to them, and be vulnerable in front of them.  It’s different and it’s nice because you have committed to spend the rest of your life with this person with the blessings of Allah and you feel excited and very much in love.

However, when the honeymoon period passes, when you’ve learnt all that you possibly could about your better half and when their mundane habits are beginning to drive you mad, you begin to realize that it is not falling in love that was important, but staying in love that is. And indeed Allah has asked us to do just that, stay in love. Allah has said that a husband and wife are “garments off each other”. This means that you are to protect your spouse in all matters by “covering” them. But it also means that you are to live with your spouse while covering their flaws. You are to accept their shortcomings and hide them from the world. You are to stay together with them and make your marriage work. And lastly you are to find new and creative ways to stay in love, by falling in love again.

So work towards your marriage to “stay” in love folks. Don’t treat your marriage like a honeymoon period that has a beginning and an end. Because this relationship made by Allah does not have an end. It is a lifetime of togetherness and if you’re lucky, togetherness after death too where you shall reunite in Jannah. So go up to your wife after work and tell her something she doesn’t know about you because you didn’t tell her and which she never noticed. Do the same with your husbands. And watch them get surprised a little. And then watch them fall in love with you a little more, again.