We Versus Me in Marriage - NikahExplorer
From the moment we gain senses of what we are in this world, our only concern is about ourselves. It’s just me and no one else. Sure we care for our families and our friends but the one thing we care most about is ourselves. This theory does not work quite well as we grow older and enter into relationships and especially after e get married.
Allah has spoken about Muslim marriages in the Quran numerous times and the level of togetherness that it should have. That is why it is so important for Muslims to understand the concept of Me versus We in marriage. If a spouse focuses on only “me” in a marriage, the marriage is likely to stay unhealthy for a long period of time and eventually end in disaster.
When Allah speaks about marriage in the Quran he tells us that it is a relationship between two people, His creation brought together so that they can live together in peace, love and harmony. It is very important to understand this verse in the Quran because it talks about togetherness. It talks about “us” and therefore it talks about “me”. In our society, the point about togetherness, though stressed, is not always carried out between couples. There are ego wars between spouses and less tolerance for the other’s spouse’s opinions, habits and personality traits.
However, this is not what marriage in Islam is about. Marriage in Islam is about two individuals coming together to celebrate happy days and struggling together to face challenging days. A husband, who is in a healthy marriage, will never for example have to face his financial difficulties alone. It will always be a “we” problem rather than a “me” one. In the same way a wife, who is thrilled at having cooked her first meal for her family successfully will never have to celebrate alone and have a “me” time. She will get true happiness if she celebrates with her spouse and have a “we” moment. So which one of the marriages will be healthier do you think?
This is the difference between me and we in marriage. Whereas a Me moment will give you happiness for a shot period of time, a We moment will give you happiness and also reward you with Allah’s blessings as He sees the togetherness between spouses and their positivity in taking on challenges. So let’s make our marriages more about Us rather than just Me and gain the rewards of Allah. Ameen.